Last year at my cat, Stripe’s, annual exam the vet and I discussed his failing condition.  Over the course of the year he had deteriorated a great deal.  He’d gone from a robust nearly 11 lb. black cat down to 8 lbs. of barely anything. 

The vet explained that Stripe was in Kidney Failure.  Without the kidneys functioning properly his body would not be able to make a needed enzyme.  His body could not regulate the levels of stomach acid that he was producing.  He output more protein than his body would use to process his food into muscles and/or fat.  Basically, he would either starve to death or waste away until he couldn’t even walk.

With the onset of winter Stripe continued to lose weight and started crying due to being too cold.  We went in search of a dog coat that was small enough for him.  He was still active and even played with the kitten.  He would search out love and ate full meals.  Getting him warm was not too much of a challenge.  Convincing him the coat was good was a different story.  It took awhile for him to not only grow accustomed to wearing it, but once he realized he could use the litter box with it on, he began crying for it too.  He wears it 24 hours a day now.

Stripe is nearly 19 years old.  He has lived a happy and healthy life.  As a pet owner one must face hard decisions in the end.  I have had to make this decision once before and I can say it is not any easier the second time…nor should it be.  It breaks my heart to see him fading away, but I promised myself to let him go on as long as he was happy, able to care for himself and not in pain.  At this point he isn’t happy.  He throws up constantly (sometimes it has blood in it).  He barely eats as his stomach acid makes him sick when he does.  And, he sways when he just tries to stand.  The topper for me was last night.  He projectile vomited his drink of water 4 1/2 feet across the kitchen.  Then, overnight, he fell off the bed just trying to do a shake, like any cat or dog would do, and didn’t land on his feet. 

All that being said, I’m still devastated that he is going.  In addition, he grew very attached to my fiance when he was here.  Even now Stripe looks for him when we talk on Skype video calls.  He purrs when he hears his voice.  I wish he could have made it so they could see each other one more time.  Facing this on Wednesday without my Mistah by my side makes it that much harder.  I know it is the right decision, but wish I didn’t have to make it.  We love him very much.

To anyone who is facing these choices, or will in the future…I don’t envy you.  Holding a life in your hands is not something you want - trust me.  I just hope he is happy when he is finally at peace. 

Stripe 1991 - 2010