The new year has not brought with it all that I’d hoped it would.  I still believe that this year will be when life will finally settle down, but the last few weeks have been pretty crazy.

With having been laid off last summer and with jobs being in short supply my best friend and I have both been faced with some hard financial decisions.  To help cut costs she moved into my house with her son.  At the beginning of the year his car died so they’ve been sharing her vehicle. Recent events just show that when you think things can’t get worse they do.

Read More

2009 was horrible.  I don’t mean horrible in the “wow that dress looks baaaad” kinda way….I mean HORRIBLE as in “I can’t believe her dad was run over by the tractor driven by her dog so they had to put it down but missed its leg and accidentally euthanized her” kind of way.  Murphy’s law had nothing on the bad turns that each month took.

I will admit there were highlights, good times, and positives that did take place.  Glimmering lights in the sea of darkness that was life.  You know things have hit rock bottom when you tell someone suffering a loss, “I’d like to say things will get better, but every time I do things just get worse.  So, I’ll just say ‘I’m sorry’.”

I don’t want this to become a woe is me jaunt down memory lane.  I’m looking for this to be a cleansing.  Out with the old, in with the new.  It is me shaking my tiny fist at the universe and giving a challenge to the New Year.  I believe the New Year should make its own resolution to fix everything that 2009 fucked up!  Is that too much to ask?

Almost every single friend I have has endured loss in their lives this year.  I see the end result of said loss beating them down.  If I could give one gift it would be to drag them the depths of their sadness and show them a bright new future.  I know that is something they will have to do for themselves, but I promise that I am here to help along the way.

January promises to be life changing in my world.  My fiance and I have spent so much time apart whilst going through the process to have him move here.  All of life’s challenges are easier faced with your partner in life by your side.  I have found my missing piece, the man that brings out a better me - and I do the same for him.  We will stand together as the government makes the decision that will affect the rest of our lives.  We will start off 2010 together and not let anything hold us back.

So, bring it world.  Bring in the New Year and give everyone a new canvas to paint their future.  2009 burned down the old and it’s up to you to start anew.

I send love to those who have lost so many loved ones, faced an uncertain future, had their jobs torn from their grasps, and felt the darkness that can overwhelm you.  I know this year will be better - for all of us.

Happy New Year everyone - show it who’s boss!!

A close friend once said that my brain is like the craziest clown car ever…you never know what’s going to pop out.  I spend so much of my time filtering the random thoughts that float through it, that I figured writing some out might free up a little space for me to think even more.  Ok, I’ll admit it….I’m an over thinker by nature.  With so many people on auto-pilot in life, is it such a bad thing that I am?

I almost typed “to tell a little about myself” but I’ll be honest that my stories never stop at a little.  One tidbit always leads to another.  So, let the thread start here:

My life has been in utter turmoil and in a holding pattern for the last 3-4 years.  I am a strong believer in fate and that everything happens for a reason.  The start of everything was watching my marriage crumble before my eyes.  It was definitely a situation where once you realize something is bad you can’t help but realize how bad it’s been for how long it has.  Needless to say, admitting to myself that my 12 year marriage was done was a hard bit to swallow.  I’m sure I’ll write more on that situation at some other point, but there are bigger and better things afoot.

2009 has been a series of bad events.  I, and those close to me, have lost family, friends, pets, job, and even homes.  At this point, I’m biding my time just waiting for the year to end.  My coffer is full and I’m looking forward to the potential of the new year to provide some relief.

From all bad there must come good….right?  Just over two years ago, through friends online, I met the most incredible man.  I never anticipated being in a relationship anytime soon post divorce.  However, I do pride myself on knowing a great thing when I see it.  After two years, of planning, meeting, planning, traveling, planning, paperwork, and MORE planning…..we’re nearing the end of the seemingly endless process of my true love moving here.  I hope to travel to Australia this December for our final interview and have him here for Christmas.

This is where my tidbits begin….